Brighter than Sunshine
by Ro Nordmann
Summary: He was everything to me, all my firsts were with him. I can clearly remember how nervous he was when he stole a kiss from me in seventh grade. Emmett stole my heart; or so I'd thought until she invaded my head and my dreams. RPOV R/Em, R/A


**Brighter than Sunshine**

**Disclaimer**: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc., are the property of their respective owners. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.

_This story is for my JJ, My Viking ~ __**Jay's World**_

Beta: Heather Bella

AH ~ Ro's POV

Warning: Femslash [Mature Content]

**-:-**

Where the fuck am I?

Oh yeah, Emmett's bed and he's snoring a like storm hit the room.

How did I get here?

How did I fall for him?

Well let's face it he's handsome and strong and fucking perfect for me.

The thing is I'm not perfect for him, at all. If he knew what goes through my head he would leave me. I'm sure of it. He would we be disgusted with me.

The problem started when she arrived into our lives. Who knew I would lose my head? Not possible, I kept saying over and over again, like a fucking record.

You're not a little pubescent kid that's going through the change and has a crush on a girl for fuck's sake.

It's not logical really. If you look at my boyfriend, he's a giant with muscles and blue eyes and dimples and fucking charming. What more could I ask for?

He was everything to me, all my firsts were with him. I can clearly remember how nervous he was when he stole a kiss from me in seventh grade. Emmett stole my heart; or so I'd thought until she invaded my head and my dreams.

No one knew of my secret love and obsession with the new girl. Although she's not new any more since she's been here for the last two years. Two years of hell, if you ask me. I hate what she does to me without knowing it. She is everything I'm not.

She's tall, thin, with blonde streaks through her dark hair (this month anyway) and her eyes, shit and fuck, make me sigh. They are profound. Like I can fall inside and never come out, her stare makes want to die everytime.

Why?

She's got this perfect boy toy named Jasper Whitlock, a bundle of blond hair, grey eyes and fuck-hot body. I hate him with all my soul and less than appealing body.

I'm no fox and that's why I can't understand why Emmett loves me; he could have anyone but he chose me. Simple Rosalie, with short wavy hair, dark brown eyes, 5ft 2inches tall and on the plus side to boot.

How can I compare?

I leave his room quietly. I don't want to be found by his parents again and end up on the receiving end of another lecture on teen pregnancy. That would just plain fucking suck. They won't say anything I don't already know and I'd end up getting grounded by my parentals too. No, I need my freedom too badly.

I finally reach my car and check my cell-phone that I'd left behind. One missed call from Bella.

She loves Edward like he's a god. She believes I love Emmett the same way. If she only knew that my love really goes out to the Viking goddess that lives next door to her. One of her best friends no less.

Of course, my best friend is bestie with Alice. Yes, she has a name. Alice just had to make friends easily with everybody, but not with me.

I avoid her in public like the plague and watch from afar. So I'm a fucking coward; but can you blame me?

To act on it would totally ruin the life everybody expects of me. Everything is set, the future awaits for college and then marriage and kids and a little house with a walk-in closet. Fuck, it is just that pathetic. Emmett loves to talk about that future and I just go along with it.

If he could only get a glimpse of what goes in my dreams, I'm sure he wouldn't want me to be the mother of his children.

So I'm driving and trying to decide if I should go to Bella's house today. Unfortunately, there's a party tonight, since we are seniors and two months away from graduation. I want it to be over, so that I will get a chance to forget my love for Alice.

She will be at the party with him of course. They always go together and look so in love. It fucking breaks my heart.

Let's just say I know what it feels like to cry in silence, since I do it constantly.

Who did I anger so, to give me this punishment? I've never felt this way towards a girl, never had an attraction that turned into love, but I know I love her. I may sound bitter, but deep down, my soul weeps for a future that will never come.

She has her life set with a wonderful boy, who worships her every step. She wants to be a chef and he eats her failed attempts as if they are the best things he's ever tasted. They live and breathe as one. They have planned their future; when they'll marry and have children, where they will live and what car they should drive.

All her friends, including Bella, sigh and worship their relationship like a fucking religion. As well they should, it's paradise. I despise the fact I know all this and suffer in silence, alone with my thoughts.

Fuck! I don't want to go to the party and get drunk and fuck Emmett again. I already did that last night.

Ro, it's time for the pep talk, you need to move on. Alice is happy and well and so are you. You have Emmett, he loves you and cares for you. He will love you until the end of time. He wants you just the way you are. Just two more months and it's over and you don't have to see her again. She's moving for college and so are you. Fucking following Emmett wherever he's accepted.

Cheerful shit. That pep talk got me going towards Bella's house.

I parked in her driveway since her father had already left for work. It's 9:30am, and that's fucking early for me. It's a Saturday in March and it's fucking cold here. So I run to the door and open it without preamble, hollering for Bella.

She's in the kitchen making breakfast and lots of it, so Edward is coming over. How sweet, *gag*. She looks at me and knows I'm walking in yesterday's clothes and shakes her head. Her precious Edward is waiting for the right moment for them to both lose their virginity.

How romantic and fucking depressing if you ask me. Emmett waited exactly one week to ask if I was ready to give him my body. Yeah he's not shy, my boy know what he wants and he gets it. I did give him my all and still do regularly.

I just tell Bella to not fucking judge, once she gets Edward inside her she'll understand and will have to shut the fuck up and say I was right. Edward won't be able to stop and neither will she.

I eat some eggs and refuse the bacon, it makes me nauseous just smelling it. So instead I nibble on some toast and drink some cranberry juice. She's all excited about the party, and I stop and frown and stare at her. Bella is not a party girl, so I ask why she's so jumpy and then she stuns me into silence. Alice is coming over and giving her a makeover. I fucking choke on the toast and have to gulp the juice.

I have to leave like now, I can't be here, no way. So I tell her I have to go, sleep some more and then get ready for the party.

As I make my way to the car, the knight in shining armor arrives. Edward nods at me and goes inside, typical Edward behavior. Fucking asshole.

I get into my green car and get my iPod ready for some tunes, 'cause I'm drowning and it's not even noon.

I chance a glance at Alice's house and then fucking flinch when I see Jasper coming out of her house. She's almost naked kissing his tonsils at the door and he's sporting wood. Wonderful wake up call.

I sneer and reverse the hell out of there. I even hear through all the thumping of my heart, Jasper yell "Crazy Ro! slow down". I hate him even more. Who gave him the right to call me "Ro"? Only my close friends call me that.

Fucker should have gotten in my way, so I could give him a piece of my homicidal mind.

Finally, I arrive home. No one is here. No surprise there. I practically sprint to the bathroom and puke like a motherfucker for ten minutes. After I have cleansed my stomach of all the bullshit I feel replenished and ready to fuck myself silly in the shower.

My session requires hot water, nice smelling body wash, my fuck-buddy and my hands. I set everything on the shelf and then remember to put some music on. What song should I use today?

There it is, that fucking song, I wish it would be true and that she would realise: "I'm yours and suddenly you're mine; Suddenly you're mine; And it's brighter than sunshine".

Fucking sap, keep it together. You're not going to cry.

I just want to have my session and see her in my mind's eye and let myself feel. So I listen to the song as I start my shower and look through my fantasies of my Viking woman.

Why do I call her Viking? Well she's from Northern Europe. A Norwegian beauty. Her parents got work in America and decided Forks, Washington was the place to live and fuck with my life.

That sounds so self-centered and cynical but fuck it.

So I'm in the shower and she comes behind me. She wants to lather my back and I let her and I feel her caress and start panting. Fuck, I'm getting aroused and as I touch my breasts and tug my nipples I wonder if she has nipple piercings; the fucking thought turning me on even more.

I imagine myself turning around and lapping and tugging on the motherfucking jewelry on her beautiful straining dusty pink nipples. Now she's panting and stops me, crashing her mouth against mine and I don't fight it and just give in.

We are touching and tugging and biting and ready to fucking use our fingers on each other when someone knocks on the bathroom door and my fantasy is destroyed.

Yeah where is the rain falling and the sunshine coming out of her blue grey captivating eyes.

It's my mom, she's worried about me. She knows I didn't sleep in my bed last night and wants to know if I was safe with Emmett.

Ugh! For fuck's sake! We've together for four years and fucking since the beginning, yep I know what safe means. I placate her and she leaves me alone.

Suddenly I start crying, sobbing and use the sound of the water as a buffer.

She's leaving and I'm never going to see her again. Shit.

I get out of the shower, the mood fucking ruined completely. I get a t-shirt on and climb into bed.

I remember to put the alarm on for the fucking party at the Ho's Place.

Fucking Tanya and her cronies love to have parties so they can fuck anyone they can. She even tried to lure Emmett once but he puked all over her shoes and I laughed so hard my capillaries burst.

My face looked bruised for days but it was so fucking worth seeing that skank covered in vomit.

Nowadays she stears clear of my bear. And now the guilt sets in... Emmett deserves better than me.

I may not have cheated with my body, but my mind thinks of her constantly. More now that the end is near.

I drift off only to start awake when my alarm sounds. It seems like I just fell asleep, but it's been hours.

Time to face the reality and get used to my future.

Emmett picks me up and he smells wonderful. He wants to have a make-out session before we go to the party and I let him. He drives to the front of Tanya skankwhore's house and starts getting fresh with me in the car.

Things heat up as they always do, and he gropes my breasts as I moan out loud. He groans in return and tells me we have to get out, since people are watching the show and I blush like a tomato.

I hate to be the center of attention, but it's hard not to be when your boyfriend is the star quarter-back. Hand in hand we enter the party and we start saying hi to people.

The guys are all hooting for Emmett's attention but I just want to become part of the wall. Tanya stays away.

Smart move bitch.

So far, no sighting of the perfect couple and I take a deep breath. Bella finds me and she looks stunning. My Viking did a great job. She has bangs and honey highlights in her hair. Her eyes have a smokey look that brings out their chocolate brown color. And her dress... let's just say this could be the night Edward gives in to the urges. By the looks of him swallowing continuously it might just be. So I whisper in her ear "Good luck" and she beams.

We keep walking after Emmett fist bumps Edward. Emmett wants to get to the kitchen and get the booze, it's why we are really here after all, free alcohol consumption.

All of a sudden, Emmett drags me to a dark corner in the yard, we are hidden but can still see people mingling, dancing, puking, jumping in the pool naked, the whole cliche teenage party action.

I start to ask what's wrong when he pushes he to the wall and devours my mouth. I drop my drink accidentally and it splashes us, but Emmett doesn't care and keeps licking and sucking on my neck. I feel faint, it's so humid out here and I need air, but I don't stop him.

Then he turns me over facing the wall and I know what he wants and can't fucking believe the nerve of him. Here? He's that fucking horny that he has to take me from behind, standing and in front of the whole class.

No... what if Alice sees ... I want to die, but I don't protest his movements and his actions and in the blink of an eye I am getting fucked in public. One of Emmett's to do lists and he's doing it now. I can't stop panting and moaning and trying to check no one is watching.

Then out of nowhere I see them. Alice and Jasper, standing by Angela and Ben, both acting like they are already married, talking and laughing at Mike who jumps naked from the pool and is running to jump in again.

Oh God, make me invisible, and please for all that is holy don't let her see me. I don't even know if I exist in her world, since I pretty much ignored her in school and if she's with Bella, I avoid being there at all cost.

Emmett keeps pounding and biting on my neck like an animal and whispering how good it feels and I feel the tears start streaming down my face. I don't even remember what I'm wearing for this shit party, maybe I came naked and that's why Emmett couldn't control himself, the insatiable beast.

We fucked only last night, but it's never enough.

I look again and see her long glowing neck and want to lick and suck and nibble as I get to her cleavage, hello my darlings. And shit I am so turned on at the thought that Emmett howls his pleasure at the sensation of how wet and tight I feel.

Tears are pouring down my face at the guilt and shame of my predicament. Getting pounded vigorously my boyfriend but fantasizing about a girl who could be privy to the action at any moment if she cared to look this way.

At least it's dark here and maybe the plants cover more than I think. Emmett's getting impatient and wants me to come, but I resist. As I look at Alice in Jasper's embrace, he's standing and she's leaning in front of him, he touches her arms delicately and she looks like she purring.

Fuck, that was deep and touched a good place and I moan loudly and close my eyes. I see her in my mind. Instead she's in my embrace, looking down on me lovingly and she kisses my forehead and then my lips and we lose ourselves in our embrace.

Clothes come off, we get to a bed and tangle ourselves, and I don't know where I begin and she ends and it's magical.

Her touch makes me shiver and groan and I want more of her milky skin and her Venus garden down below. Then I feel close to the end, and I know I'm going to come and I want to scream her name, it feels so good that she's touching my clit just right.

I can't hear anything but our heavy breathing, I'm almost there.

The spell is broken when I feel Emmett's teeth on my neck and his rough touch trying to bring me to orgasm. He's never failed at that and he won't now.

I open my eyes and look straight at her and silently scream her name as I find my release.

Emmett fucking comes and grunts like a lion, and it seems like it echoes and everyone is looking at where we are leaning on the wall.

I turn my head to look towards Alice but she's not there.

I hiccup and swallow my sobs. She must have seen us fucking without regard for public decency. So when Emmett wants to kiss, I deny his touch and storm away humiliated.

People start to holler and congratulate Emmett on his actions and I see what a joke I have become. So I look for the nearest bathroom to barricade myself in, just wanting to cut my wrists and end my life permanently.

Instead I find Bella and ask her if she can give me a ride home immediately. She doesn't argue and gets Edward to drive us to my house where I cry myself to sleep.

**-:-**

It's been six years since that day.

I broke up with Emmett in college, after I walked in on him having a threesome in our bed. Turns out I wasn't enough for him and that was the reality check, finding him in bed with two other girls.

I would be lying if I didn't say I was relieved it was over, 'cause it had been over for a very long time. He tried to get me back, but I just couldn't waste our time anymore. I tried having other relationships with other guys but I just couldn't get past the first date and that first kiss.

I ended up studying School Psychology and working with autistic children in a center in Brooklyn, New York. It was rewarding to see a child smile or hug his mom, every little thing was a triumph. It makes me feel useful in this world of meaningless chaos.

Imagine my surprise when on a vacation in Manhattan I ran into my love, my Viking, Alice.

Jasperless and fucking gorgeous. She remembered me and hugged me so hard I thought she had broken my ribs.

I even caught her smelling my hair.

She looked different but the same, I can't explain it really, since I just beamed at her like a fucking crazy person.

She invited me to have lunch and I didn't refuse. She wanted to catch up and I kept thinking, where is Jasper? I saw no ring on her finger and I noticed she did the same to me.

What the fuck?

We had small talk about what the hell were we doing and working. She'd become a chef and I felt so proud of her. She was explaining her work in speciality dessert catering but I was just enthralled to see her lips moving. I think she noticed and stopped talking. Suddenly I felt like I'd ruined our reunion and wanted to slap myself.

She grabbed my hand and told me to calm down, that everything was finally as it should be. She said I had the most beautiful come face she's ever seen and that she wanted to see it again with her doing the pleasuring.

To say I was shocked is an understatement. Tears ran without my permission and as I looked into her shining eyes I whispered...

_"I'm yours and suddenly you're mine_

_Suddenly you're mine_

_And it's brighter than sunshine"._

**-:-**

**A/N:** April 12, 2014 - BtS will remain a one-shot; chapters were removed.


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